Another Piece Of The Puzzle

I didn’t know if we would ever get here. The road has not been easy and there were some very dark times along the way. Sterling is pushing through his fears and tackling things we didn’t know he was capable of. I, on the other hand, have been having mini meltdowns for the past two weeks. Crying because I wasn’t sure what was to come. You want the best for your children and want to see them succeed no matter what. I can’t even count the number of meetings we’ve had over the years where I was left feeling emotionally exhausted from having to fight to get Sterling the services and accommodations he needed. I will never understand why there is so much resistance in giving a child what they need to be educated. Where does it say all children learn the same? 

Let’s get to the good part.

The chairperson from the district started the meeting by having everyone introduce themselves. Sterling’s teacher, counselor, and speech pathologist said their hellos. Kai and I said ours as well. The tears began to fall listening to everyone speak so highly of Sterling. How he has matured so much and is truly an asset to his peers. When his teacher stated he is on track to reach all of his educational goals, I wanted to get up and shout. I knew my child was articulate and capable. He just needed the right formula to thrive. I say formula because there’s so many components that we had to dissect and reconfigure to get here. **I will definitely circle back to this.**

Both the counselor and speech pathologist echoed what his teacher said. We collectively made the decision to discontinue individual speech sessions as Sterling has become quite articulate. Group sessions will remain as he is still learning to decipher the context or reading in between the lines of others. Sterling has counseling in and out of school. A couple of posts back I talked about Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and how Sterling has really done the work to get where he is today. In school counseling is really a place where he can dissect and problem solve moments of anxiety or interactions he may have with his peers or teachers. 

This meeting also started the conversation of bringing Sterling back into an in district school. Currently he is in a 8:1:1 classroom which means there is one teacher and one assistant for eight children. Next year he will be in a 15:1:1. Sterling will keep his individual counseling sessions to help with this transition. His accommodations will remain the same regarding testing, which include extended time and directions being read and simplified as needed during test taking. The use of staff manipulatives, graphic organizers, and sensory supports will remain as well. I appreciated the chairperson acknowledging the additional supports that are in the building and recommending a behavioral consult so his quirks and nuances in the classroom would be understood. We have to wait until the end of the school year to know what school Sterling will be assigned to and then a more detailed plan will be devised and executed. 

A combination of medication, therapy, prayer, and support from Sterling’s amazing village has gotten us to where we are today. Words won’t express the gratitude I have for every person that has contributed in some way, fashion, or form. This journey is far from over, but we’re going to sit back and enjoy this moment for a few.

Until next time. Love and Light!

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy..The Way It’s Helped Sterling

Having a child with a developmental disability can be hard. This road has not been easy. Sterling has been through so much. I thank God daily for the resilience and optimism he has and I pray it continues for the rest of his life. When we first started navigating this road, I had to have a heart to heart with myself. I have worked with the adolescent and latency population for 20+ years. Never in my wildest dreams did I think I would be on this side of the coin. I’m grateful for knowledge I have as well as the village and support I receive from the professional and personal relationships I have built over the years. With this support, Sterling has been able to thrive. While Sterling has a medication regimen that supports and provides some normalcy in his life, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy has truly been a game changer for us.  

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is a psycho-social intervention that aims to reduce symptoms of various mental health conditions including anxiety and depressions. Sterling has always been able to push through the anxiety and worrisome barriers with support, but as he continues to grow and mature, his clinical team and I felt it was time for him to work through some of his biggest fears. We started CBT therapy in December 2020. The psychologist started by first developing a rapport with Sterling, making sure he felt comfortable to talk freely with her. She would incorporate his favorite characters into treatment plans and “homework” she wanted all of us to work on. Some of Sterling’s fears included being alone in the dark as well as not being smart “enough”. 

Over the past year, Sterling has worked been able to work through so much. Night time was a huge struggle. Due to his anxiety and insomnia, Sterling used to be afraid to go to sleep alone. I would have to be in his room with his until he was soundly sleeping. Some nights, he could make it through the entire night while others we would be up numerous times trying to settle his body and mind enough for him to get some sleep. I am happy to report that Sterling is now able to get to sleep and stay asleep the majority of the time. There are still some times when he’s feeling anxious and struggles to fall asleep but those nights are almost nonexistent.

 I realized I was adding to Sterling’s stress when it came to school. Once I let go of my rigid expectations and met Sterling where he was, he seemed to settle. Sterling is currently in a therapeutic setting for school where standardized testing is voluntary. Last year his teacher asked if I wanted him to be excused from testing. At first I thought, with him being virtual, it may be a good idea to skip this year. Then I thought, this would a great opportunity for us to see just exactly where he was in respect to 4th grade standards. So he was able to take the ELA and Math exams alone with his teacher. She read him the directions to make sure he understood what he needed to do. We didn’t receive the results until the beginning of this school year and I was very happy to see he scored above average for ELA and average for Math. Sterling was happy to see this as well. I think this gave him a boost in confidence with testing. 

We’re getting ready to embark on new territory. Middle School. I wasn’t sure what this would look like as I am really not a fan of the therapeutic middle school options. To my surprise, Sterling expressed interest in returning to an in district school. I asked him if he felt he was ready and he said yes. I bought this up during one of his therapy sessions and his psychologist asked him why he felt he was ready. Sterling replied that he felt he would be okay in a bigger classroom and felt he has been able to control his anxiety for larger groups of people and places. I can’t believe we have made it here. Me being me, I made a phone call to the district chairperson to discuss this and what the transition would look like. I am thankful that his home district has been supportive in this journey. The chairperson stated they would reach out to the school psychologist where Sterling would be transitioning to to connect them with myself and Sterling’s current teacher and counselor. We will be meeting next month to review his IEP as well as develop a plan to support Sterling and his transition to a new school. 

 What made my own anxiety about this relax a little was the chairperson asked if I was ready for this. I am a firm believer that a child will let you know when they are ready for monumental moments and it’s our job as their parent or caregiver to support them. Sterling has taken a huge step in verbalizing he’s ready for change. I will do whatever is in my power to make it as smooth as I can. 

Will Cognitive Behavioral Therapy work for you or your child? I can’t answer that. What I can say is try everything until you find what works. There is no precise method to navigating developmental disabilities and mental health but there is a huge community of people who have been where you are. Do not be afraid to ask questions. I want to use my platform to offer as much knowledge and as many resources as I can. If you have any questions or are struggling with finding any resources. Please send me an email. I will do my best to connect you with resources.